Tuesday, August 12, 2014

A post that's a little about sleep but mostly not

My daughter and sleep have been a long-ongoing battle. As I've shared before, she simply doesn't want to give into sleep. She wakes frequently crying out for me. I could chronicle everything we've tried, including sending Mike in all week last week attempting to help her get the idea she doesn't need mama to go back to sleep. And figuring she'd get the picture and start sleeping better. Psshhhh. Not such.

I could chronicle everything I wish would be different about her sleep. And all the ways I feel its negatively impacting MY life. I could talk about how I would like to know I put her to bed and I could check out for the night to enjoy MY time for the evening. How I would like to set MY alarm to start MY day with a workout for ME and know she wouldn't be up for another hour. Instead I know nothing.

Notice a theme?

I. ME. MY.

"They" say being a mom is the most selfless job out there. I was praying yesterday about all this and was reminded of that. In how all these prayers are centered around me, and my daughter just happens to be a factor. Instead of praying that things would get straightened out with her sleep so my life would be a little more sane, I'm praying for her now. That if its teeth bothering her, the pain would go away. If its that she's thinking so hard about how to let go of that table and take off walking across the room, that her mind would be able to rest and stop thinking about it. And if its just that she misses me and Mike and Troy while she's in her room at night, that she'd not feel alone. That she'd see the beauty in rest. And celebrating the little victories, like her starting to put herself to sleep more often without me, and clinging to the hope that she can sleep a longer stretch when she miraculously goes six hours out of nowhere. And knowing it could always be worse (thank you Lord that its not).

And I'm praying for myself. That I'd stop seeing the phrase "it's just a season" as a silly cliche that does absolutely nothing for me right now and truly cherish it. That I'd be reminded that it's a privilege to be a mom for these two little people and there are women out there with empty nurseries longing for sleepless nights with a baby in their arms (Had a photo of one such room show up in my Facebook feed yesterday. Heartbreaking.)

I've had these scriptures standing out to me in recent weeks when I do my daily reading. Finally put them all together and printed it out for her room so I can pray it over her. Thought I'd share it here too :) And in the meantime, I'll continue to press on, simply just being a mom, because no matter what stage we're going through, that's exactly what I'm called to be right now.

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